Best Run Yet

This weekend I had one of my best training runs yet. I tried to make a conscious effort to fuel my body with all the right foods during the week, ran both short runs (can you believe 8 miles is a short run now?) and even strength trained at Fitness Principles in Allston (side note, Keith and Dina are amazing!) I am certainly feeling the pressure as we are in the final stretch of training and know that I need to remain healthy and motivated if I'm going to make it to 26.2!

This week's motivation came from a visit to Spaulding's Traumatic Brain Injury Unit. I took some time out of my day on Friday to refocus my energy and determination to run this year's marathon. While I walked the floor, I witnessed a young man talking into a water bottle, which he believed to be a walky-talky. He was asking anyone who would listen where his wife Christine was. He *knew* she was just with him, but she "disappeared" and he feared that she was lost. I sat down in a chair and watched him. He walked up and down the halls with an aid closely following behind talking into his water bottle: "Christine, where are you? Come back. Please!" He was confused, sad and beginning to grow frustrated. He couldn't understand where his wife went. Fortunately, Christine showed up within 15 minutes and had just stepped out to get a coffee. As I left the unit, I dedicated my weekend's long run to this patient. He can't run a marathon, so I will.

I was excited to join my fellow Race for Rehab teammates: Suzanne, Amy, Katie, Mike and Cara on Saturday for our 15-16 mile training run. Although the group didn't stay together the entire time, it is always nice to see familiar faces. Suzanne and I broke off from the group and continued on from our starting point in Wellesley all the way to Charlestown. We crushed the notorious hills and I even made it down Beacon Street without puking or stopping, a personal best for this rookie! Negative "I can't" thoughts entered my head around mile 9, my mental block spot, and I thought about stopping, but I continued on and thought of the patient I saw on the TBI unit. I was able to finish 15 miles, my farthest run yet, with a smile on my face and pride in my heart. I cannot even begin to express how proud I am of myself. I RAN 15 MILES! Just one year ago I couldn't even imagine running 5 miles.

I am less than 50 days away from the 118th Boston Marathon and $749 shy of my $5,000 fundraising goal. I hope that you will consider making a gift or an additional gift to help me raise critical funds for Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital. Donations can be made here.

Goal Achieved

When I began this journey several months ago, I set my eyes on the Hyannis Half Marathon. On Sunday, I achieved that goal. Although I crossed the finish line, I didn't have the best run. I started out too fast, letting the adrenalin get the best of me, and found myself fatigued and in need of a bathroom early on. I was envious of the men who were jumping off the course and into the woods to relieve themselves. I was able to make it 6.5 miles with a full bladder until I really had to stop. I had to wait in line for 5 minutes to use a dirty porta-potty. YUCK! Stopping for that amount of time really messed with my focus and my body. When I started to run again my legs felt heavy, tired and stiff. I had lost my rhythm and I had to walk.

Although I didn't run my best time, I learned a lot! The most important takeaway: I need to run my own race. The second take away was: try to pee, no matter how long the pre-race line is.

I am thrilled that I achieved my original goal to run a half marathon, but looking ahead to the next several weeks has me feeling anxious. This weekend I am scheduled to run 15 miles, then 16, 18, 12 and finally 21 before tapering my miles and heading into the home stretch of the Boston Marathon and April 21st. The next several weeks are going to be taxing, my physical fitness is there, but now I'm in need of exercising and challenging my mind. The human brain is a powerful thing, and my mental toughness needs to be stronger!

Running on Water

Let me start by saying: I'm Jesus. He was a Jew, too, so its quite fitting that I am just realizing that I must be him. I ran on water, after-all.

OK, maybe I'm not really Jesus, but I did run on water, kinda. I was on a cruise for 8 days and knew that I couldn't let my relaxing vacation relax my training. I got up early almost every day and hit the gym, whether it was a spin class (which by the way, I absolutely loved!) or a 3-6 mile run on the treadmill. I couldn't believe who I had become, a dedicated, marathon training individual. I quickly learned that running on a treadmill on the bow of a boat is much harder than it looks. My rhythm was totally thrown off, which made each run difficult, but I still managed. When I ended my vacation, I was pretty happy with myself that I didn't let a change in my regular schedule or a trip to the Caribbean disrupt my marathon training.

Today's take-away: COMMIT! Once you commit, follow through, no matter what it takes.

Can I Do It?

The last few weeks of training have been pretty terrible. I needed time to collect my thoughts before letting people into my mind again, thus I have been pretty delinquent with keeping up with my blog posts. Its not the weather that has me down, but rather my mind and body. Three weeks ago while on a 14 mile training run I threw up on Beacon Street. Yes, there were people around and yes, it was mortifying. Two weeks ago I fell on ice during a solo 15 miler. I made it to 10 and caught a cab back to my car. One could argue that I am in a bit of a running rut. The miles are getting longer, my body is getting tired and my mind has me thinking about the 100 other things I could do than run in the cold. I have had several of those "I don't think I can do this" moments along the way, too.

Runners constantly stress the "mental" aspects of running. Not only is physical strength necessary to compete in an endurance race, but mental toughness is equally, if not more important. This has me thinking: am I tough enough? For me, running for 2+ hours is getting boring. I am finding myself losing interest and doubting every step I take. I need motivation! I know why and who I'm running for, but I don't know how to get to the finish line. I'm thinking this has to do with my inexperience. I don't even know what its like to run an official half marathon (that will change next weekend in Hyannis!) I need mind tricks to make the time go by faster, I need to achieve that runner's high and most importantly, I need to relax and just let the miles go by. I know WHAT I need to do, or at least I think I do, but I don't know how to get there. Can I really run a marathon?

Ohhhh We're Half Way There...

I registered for the Hyannis Half Marathon on November 11, 2013 and set the February race as the next goal in my freshman running career. Soon thereafter, I took an enormous leap and decided to run the 118th Boston Marathon. Today I hit the 13.1 mile mark in my training and actually ended up running a little farther. Reaching this milestone wasn't easy. It has taken me months to train my body to go the distance and today's training run was no less of a challenge. It had hills, wind, cold and even a running breakdown.

My husband, Dan, drove me out to Wellesley this morning and after searching for an open coffee shop to make one last trip to the bathroom, I began my 13+ mile trip to Boston. My plan was to meet 4 miles in with my Race for Rehab teammate, Amy, and finish the route together. Somehow we planned our timing perfectly, because just as I passed Newton Wellesley Hospital, I caught a glimpse of my new running partner, who had just arrived at the Woodland T Stop.

Amy and I absolutely crushed the Newton Hills. We improved our pace from last week's 12 mile training run and felt more familiar with the Boston Marathon's notorious hills. I think we probably went a little too fast, because I found myself losing steam as we turned onto Beacon Street and in need of a break. I ended up walking for .1 miles to give my legs a bit of a rest. Amy was amazingly encouraging and gave me the confidence to keep going after I composed myself.

Whenever I have to stop, like I did today, and walk for a minute, I feel a sense of defeat, doubt and disappointment. However, after some thought, I am no longer going to look at those "resting" moments as the 3D's, but rather a time to check back into myself, adjust and recommit to the task at hand. When I reviewed my run this afternoon, which I tract via Garmin, I realized that those walking "breaks" actually helped me pick back up my pace. Even with our running time-out, Amy and I managed to conquer the miles, hills and half of the Boston Marathon course with a 10:35 pace.

Now that I have an unofficial half marathon under my belt, I have my eyes on a "PR" for Hyannis. I want to crush the race AND my fundraising for Spaulding Rehab Hospital. If you haven't already donated, or are feeling extra generous and inclined to make an additional contribution, please visit my personal fundraising page by clicking here.

In closing, I am so incredibly proud and feel a great sense of accomplishment reaching the half-way point of 26.2! I couldn't help but sing the legendary Bon Jovi song "Livin' on a Prayer," especially the "oooh we're half way there...." part as I ran down Boylston street today.

Dear Allison....

Dear Allison, or at least I think thats what your friend called you. I saw you on the treadmill tonight. I saw me in you. You were winded. You were struggling. The look on your face was of disgust, exhaustion and defeat. I was that girl once. I struggled, as you did, to run a mile. I saw you looking over at me as I ran and ran and ran, for what to you probably seemed like forever. I used to do that. I would wonder how someone could keep going. You probably thought that I was judging you. I wasn't. I was cheering for you. I wanted you to keep going, to push yourself, to believe in yourself. 

Don't be ashamed, Allison, and don't give up. People will tell you that 'you can do it' but you will feel like you can't. You will cry. You will go home and eat a cookie because even though you went to the gym to work off the other ones you consumed earlier, its the only way you can make yourself feel better. You'll be sore tomorrow. You will have an internal battle of whether or not to go back to the gym. You should go. No, not because you're a bit overweight and not because society tells you that you should weigh 100 pounds. You should go for you. To feel good. To be better. To be the better YOU. I wont tell you that running a mile is easy, because its not. I certainly wont tell you that getting in shape is easy, because it definitely is not. Don't go to the gym because your skinny bitch girlfriend is dragging you. Go for a purpose. Run for a purpose. Set a goal, achieve it and move onto the next one. You can do it, Allison, and you don't have to be 100 pounds. I'm not! I see me in you. Just keep going....

I wish I could share this letter with "Allison," the girl I saw today at the gym. She reminded me of myself. Someone who never thought they could run a mile and definitely not a marathon! I had more people tell me "you can run a marathon, anyone can run a marathon" but there was no purpose behind it. Its not true, not everyone can run a marathon. There are physical and mental barriers that you have to overcome when you train and compete in an endurance race and not everyone can do that. Its hard, really hard! Who knows if I'll actually be able to complete 26.2 miles, but you better believe that I will try. When I ran 11 miles (alone) last weekend I had time to think. To think about where I came from, how this whole thing got started. Training for a marathon has taught me to eat and be better, to push harder, go longer, not to take anything for granted, especially my legs and most importantly to believe in myself. My advice this week is to set a goal. Your goal could be to go to the gym once a week, volunteer for a non-profit or not fight with your mother this week. Set a goal because achieving any goal is the best feeling in the world. I crossed into double digit (consistent) miles last week, that was my next goal and I achieved it. 

Please support my next goal, to raise $4,000 for Spaulding Rehabilitation Hospital. I am running the Boston Marathon in honor of those who can't. Please consider giving up that one coffee from Starbucks tomorrow and contributing to this amazing organization. Every dollar counts and no donation is too small, or too big! ;-) Donations can be made by clicking here.

Defeat Followed by Redemption

In the event that you missed every person on your Facebook page complaining about the snow and cold, it snowed...like, a lot and it was flippin' cold! With 14" of that white stuff on the ground I found myself in a bit of a marathon schedule shake-up. I was unable to run my short distance on Thursday due to the storm, so I ran 3 miles on Friday, leaving me with a Saturday rest day and a Sunday long run. Unfortunately, the city of Melrose is pretty horrible at clearing sidewalks, so I was forced to climb aboard the treadmill.

For me, running on a treadmill is so much harder than running outside. The scenery doesn't change, it gets terribly boring and I am forced to keep the same pace, rather than allow my body to adjust naturally. So, there I stood on a treadmill at the Malden YMCA (which by the way is WAY nicer than the Melrose Y) with 10 miles ahead of me. I was hydrated, fueled, and strapped in with my new Amphipod water bottle. I was ready to go...or so I thought. Miles 1-4 were solid, but once I hit 5 and realized I had 5 more to go my mind started to wander. My body grew tired, I realized I had to pee, I got completely bored with my view and to make matters worse, the lady next to me needed to be wearing more deodorant. By the time I got to mile 7 I had to quit. I tried playing the mind games, but I just couldn't continue. Frustrated with myself, I did what I have learned to do when in a running predicament: text Coach Pamela!

Pamela recommended that I hop on the elliptical to finish my miles and end with a 5 minute fast-pace run back on the treadmill. Being the good student that I am, I climbed onto the elliptical, still angry with myself for giving up, and rode it out for 2 miles. Once I hit 2, I quickly jumped off and started back to the treadmill. I was determined to finish my miles...and RUN them! I ran the last 2 miles at an 8:30/9:00 pace. I had something to prove to myself and pushed it until I literally couldn't stand it anymore. Satisfied, I sent Pamela a text and re-read some of her other motivational comments that I quickly glanced over while in my tizzy.

I focussed in on one very important statement that my dear Coach made: "Think about all the people that don't have the option of suffering thru a crappy run on a treadmill..." In that moment I realized why my run had been so terrible. I lost sight of why I was running. I was too busy trying to play the mind games that everyone tells me to play to make the time go by faster. I was focussed on my awesome pace. I was thinking about other things than the task at hand. I've said it before and I'll say it again: running, at least for this marathon rookie, isn't about pace, distance, time, cute running clothes (ok, maybe a little) its about purpose. I needed to bring myself back to the reason I embarked on this journey to begin with. I was too busy being a runner and not being ME: the non-runner who accepted a number to run for those who can't.

You better believe that when I strap on my shoes next week and hit the streets for 11 miles I will be thinking of those who can't. In fact, next week I dedicate my run to Nicholas, a former Spaulding patient, my Coach's brother and someone who 9 years ago today lost his ability to run and complain about those crappy encounters with the treadmill. Next week is for you, Nick. You're a fighter and so am I!