I wrote, re-wrote and started from scratch several times while trying to explain how I had been affected by the bombings. How was I supposed to cram every emotion that I felt that day (and still do today) in 250 words or less? Somehow I did it. I hit submit and thought to myself: "at least there will be no 'what-ifs' left on the table. If I'm denied, so be it. If I am accepted, lord help me!"
On Wednesday, December 4th at exactly 12:19PM, I waited for the elevator at work with a colleague. At that same moment, I received an e-mail from the B.A.A. that I couldn't believe. I had a number for the 2014 Boston Marathon! So many emotions ran through my body in that moment. What had I done? Am I actually going to run a marathon? THE Marathon.
Runners say if there is a race run, its Boston. I have this once in a lifetime opportunity to run the oldest organized marathon. To run for those who can't. To give a big middle finger to the jerks who tried to break us, all of us! There are so many reasons I should run, but there is one thing holding me back: fear.
Can I do it? Can my body actually carry me 26.2 miles? I ran 7 miles this morning and there were times that I thought my body would quit on me. People say that running is 90% mental. I believe it. Although I was tired, my mind went to the reason I was running. Those thoughts are what got me through.
So, am I going to do it? To be honest, I'm not 100% sure. I am leaning toward YES, but I am so, so, so scared. I have until January 30th to decide, but I continue to think about what a beautiful thing it would be to cross that finish line on Boylston Street. How amazing would it feel to conquer my fear. What a wonderful thing to do in honor of and in memory of those who were injured or lost their lives.
Am I going to run? What do you think?
The E-Mail that could very well change everything...