Saturday, December 7, 2013

Am I All In For Boston?

On November 20th, The Boston Athletic Association announced that they would be issuing a limited number of additional entries for the 2014 Boston Marathon for those who were "personally and profoundly impacted by the events of April 15, 2013." Those who were interested needed to submit an application and explain in 250 words or less the reason they wanted to run. I'm not sure what made me do it, but I applied...

I wrote, re-wrote and started from scratch several times while trying to explain how I had been affected by the bombings. How was I supposed to cram every emotion that I felt that day (and still do today) in 250 words or less? Somehow I did it. I hit submit and thought to myself: "at least there will be no 'what-ifs' left on the table. If I'm denied, so be it. If I am accepted, lord help me!"

On Wednesday, December 4th at exactly 12:19PM, I waited for the elevator at work with a colleague. At that same moment, I received an e-mail from the B.A.A. that I couldn't believe. I had a number for the 2014 Boston Marathon! So many emotions ran through my body in that moment. What had I done? Am I actually going to run a marathon? THE Marathon.

Runners say if there is a race run, its Boston. I have this once in a lifetime opportunity to run the oldest organized marathon. To run for those who can't. To give a big middle finger to the jerks who tried to break us, all of us! There are so many reasons I should run, but there is one thing holding me back: fear.

Can I do it? Can my body actually carry me 26.2 miles? I ran 7 miles this morning and there were times that I thought my body would quit on me. People say that running is 90% mental. I believe it. Although I was tired, my mind went to the reason I was running. Those thoughts are what got me through.

So, am I going to do it? To be honest, I'm not 100% sure. I am leaning toward YES, but I am so, so, so scared. I have until January 30th to decide, but I continue to think about what a beautiful thing it would be to cross that finish line on Boylston Street. How amazing would it feel to conquer my fear. What a wonderful thing to do in honor of and in memory of those who were injured or lost their lives.

Am I going to run? What do you think?

The E-Mail that could very well change everything...

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